“Real Love is Knowing Someone’s Weaknesses and Not Taking Advantage of Them. Knowing Their Flaws and Not Taking Advantage of Them.” ~Unknown~
As I grew up (from childhood until now) I was always looking for that “perfect friendship.” That friendship that would last a lifetime. When I was younger I had “best friends” through each stage of life and the ones that I thought would be my “best friends” forever and a lifetime. For example my youngest of “best friend” I would have these horrible fights but always made up within days because we could never go more than a few days without playing Barbie’s, playing restaurant in the summer, sleeping over, running around the neighborhood, riding bikes, or dancing in the streets at dark (laughing out loud.) Though she and I are still casual friends we are not “friends” in the sense of the word that we kept in contact all these years. We grew apart, nothing less, nothing more. I still care for her and I still consider her a friend but we just grew up and grew apart.
My elementary years brought a seriously great school friend that lasted me from 4th grade until Summer of my 8th grade year going into 9th grade. I had this great relationship with a wonderful friend and we spent almost all of our free time together and she was either at my house on the weekends or I was at hers. I had a “best friend” to last me a lifetime. We often spoke of our wedding day’s and how we would have each other be in our weddings. We were planning our futures together and our children growing up together, attending to school together in the same school as we have and we would live in the same town be stay at moms together raising our kids next door to one another. The summer going into high school we had a huge fight over a “poison” concert that was taking place on my birthday and we never reconciled, no matter how hard we tried. She got to high school and started hanging with a different crowd than me and she took the path of drugs and alcohol. I saw her 2 years after graduation in a clothing store I was already married at the time and she was dating some loser, she asked about my life and I as well of her. She later married the guy and that was the last of heard of her, again we grew apart.
I am a married adult mature (semi-mature adult) and working a grocery store I meet 2 wonderful friends that now 24 years later 1 one of them is still one of my nearest, dearest, most cherished, appreciated friends I have in my life. My other friend and I just grew apart life for got busy and I was a stay at home mom for all these years while she has maintained several jobs. (I know, What’s up with the pattern of “We just grew apart”?)
In my adult years I have struggled with a couple “best friends” I cannot maintain “Best” friends status in my adult years. I have heard that I am “needy,” “difficult,” and “selfish” that is why “they” cannot stay friends with me or why we fight so often. I have also heard that “I am a hard friend to have.” After ALL this I have come to the realization that I am chasing after something that has been in my all along, all my life, since birth.
A Best Friend…
I was born with a best friend, My sister Debbie. The day I was born I believe that I blessed with a best friend for life and that I have been looking for someone who has been in front of me for 45 years. When I think back on my whole life and think about what ‘is’ a best friend (and I mean truly, WHAT IS a best, WHAT MAKES a person a best friend?) I have to say to myself the qualities that make a best friend are as follows: a. who has always been there for you with NO strings attached? b. who has stuck by your side even through thick and thin? c. who loves you even when you are not lovable? d. if you were to get married/die/dying today who would you want by your side? e. who doesn’t keep track of how many times you have hurt/betrayed them? f. who doesn’t keep score of your sins against them? My answer to every one of these questions many more was my sister Debbie and I was searching this world for the right person to be there for me as “gal pal” and a shoulder to cry on in times of need. To understand that I am a fractured soul, a broken piece of glass, an imperfection that just is looking for normal human love in a friendship.
I was reminded (rudely) what I had been looking for has been right in front of my eyes all these years and to stop looking elsewhere because my best friend is right here. When I was growing up I thought for a longtime in my very young years that Debbie was my mom because she was always taking care of me because my mom was working, especially in the summer. I shared a bedroom all through my life with my sister (until my sister moved out). I never shared a room with any of my other sisters, EVER. I followed Debbie everywhere, when she married I spent a lot nights at her house with her and new baby when he arrived because he was like my baby brother. Later years when I started dating my (now) husband and I got engaged, I knew that I only wanted one person standing next to me on my wedding day. Because there was only one person that had been a constant in my life. Only one person that has been there for me whole life. Only one person that was my best friend, that forgives the forgivable, that will love me forever no matter what, the one person that has always been there for me, the one person that will never leave me, the one person that I will never grow apart from, my sister Debbie. My one and only, always and forever best friend…